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This isn’t really typical blog stuff but, like everybody else I get tons of jokes in emails. Some of my favorite are these church bulletin typos. Here are a bunch I hadn’t heard before. So have a read, a good laugh and enjoy your bank holiday. Happy May Day to you!
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon
tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of
those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of ou r community. Smile at
someone who is hard to love.
Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
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Don’t let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Mrs ….. sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure
to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a
nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the
help they can get.
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The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing:
‘Break Forth Into Joy.’
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of
several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you
want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment
and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow..
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across
from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would
lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use
the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the
Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend
this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign
slogan last Sunday : ‘I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours’.
I admit I’m skeptical but if it is, this is truly remarkable technology (I’d suggest turning down or off your sound as it buzzes very annoyingly).
But as unlikely as it seems, it probably is real. Have a look at this guy from Germany. And good old Wikipedia has quite an interesting entry on Robots.
I love robots. One of my favorites is a little robot built in the U.S. that runs about the hallways of the school plugging itself into wall sockets (really!). And it can be really fun to watch the Battle of the Bots and see the guys trying to destroy each other’s robots that took £900 million to build and probably caused a divorce or two along the way.
But if you really want to bug your co-workers, have a look at this toy. I sincerely hope nobody gives one to my cube mate for Christmas. :O(
And then there’s this guy who looks frighteningly like a human child in a spacesuit.
But until they come up with one that does the laundry, looks adoringly at me whilst answering ‘yes, of course anything you say’ to anything I say and then makes me a drink, well, I guess I’ll stick with the human variety. He doesn’t do that either but what the heck, he’s got a cute butt and a hell of a smile.
The weather has turned lovely and warm and there was just no way in the world I could stay indoors today. So I headed out for nearby Singleton Park to see what was going on in the gardens. And I was not disappointed - the floral display is just breathtaking!
Birds singing in the trees overhead and squirrels running about - spring is truly here now, there’s no doubt, and there are flowers absolutely everywhere! Flowers tucked under trees and along quiet paths. Flowers by ponds, colours and shapes and smells.
They’ve got rock gardens and shade gardens and water gardens and, in little areas throughout the park you stumble across special gardens; carnivorous plants in one, bog plants in another - plants I thought I would never see outdoors outside of California. And here they are - right in the middle of Swansea!
I’ve taken hoards of photos besides these, and you’re most welcome to view the rest. You can visit My Singleton Park Spring 2008 Gallery in the photogallery section of the ForumWales website. But if you’re in Swansea and you’ve an afternoon, go visit the gardens in person. It will be well worth the time.
There is no doubt in my mind that Wales is one of the most beautiful places in the world and I am so very pleased to call it home.
A hearty congratulations to our own Merchgymraeg for the lovely article about her in the latest issue of Lingo Newydd. This is a terrific magazine for Welsh learners published by Golwg and it was great fun to learn a little about one of our members.
If you’re in Wales, Lingo is fairly easy to come by - found in many news outlets. If you’re not, most bookstores do carry copies and will ship them. So check with your favorite book seller to get a copy.
I woke up to a lovely surprise this morning in the form of a dusting of snow on the hill behind my flat. Not a lot but just enough to make things pretty.
They’ve been threatening snow for a month or so now and up until this morning all we’d managed was a lot of sun and warm days. It actually looks as though that will be the case today as well. Not terribly cold and certainly plenty of sunshine.
OK, well I know it’s not all that exciting, everyone’s seen snow before. But when you see it for the first time in a new home, there’s something special about it.
For some unknown reason, my mind is on pubs this afternoon. But since I’m still stuck at work and can’t break lose to visit one in person, what’s the next best thing? Why a virtual pub crawl, of course. Not as satisfying, but there we are. Better than answering the phone.
The problem is, if you don’t know the name, you can’t find the website. Thankfully others have had a similar realization and thoughtfully gathered lists of pubs on various sites.
So I set about to find a list of all the pubs in Wales. I thought BeerFinder sounded promising but their list is somewhat limited. I base this on the sheer number of pubs I’ve seen in Wales versus the number of pubs they have in their database. So let’s get Wales on the map! Why not nominate your favorite pub for inclusion?
Well, that was fine but somewhat unsatisfying so after a wee look at Google I found Pubs in Wales: Pubs Galore I checked out their West Glamorgan list and it’s pretty good, although missing a couple that I enjoy. So, again, far from comprehensive.
I hit the jackpot with AccessPlace Pubs’ listing for Pubs in Wales. 18 pages of pubs in Swansea alone! I’m in Heaven. That will keep me drinking for months without ever hitting the same one twice!
But what about Welsh beer? Surely there must be more beer brewed in Wales beyond Brains. Well, I found a bunch of links but nothing that gave me any listing of micro-brewers throughout Wales. I did, however, find a website for the Great Welsh Beer Festival to be held in Cardiff this year. Perfect!
Browsing the Forum today, I found that FW Member vk4wot has started a new blog. Nipping across to take a nose around I was confronted by the spider shown here on the left (full size version).
Now, I don’t know about you but that’s not something I’d be particularly excited about finding in my house! I’ve never seen anything like that in the UK! Phew!
We’ve all heard about ‘Identity Theft’, we’ve all been warned to keep our information save and be careful who we pass our details on to, many of us will shred our bills prior to binning - but now you can go one step further by moving to Neath!
According to a story posted on the Guardian website today, “Statistically, the safest haven from identity fraudsters is Neath in West Glamorgan”. In contrast, “…residents of the wealthy London Borough of Kensington and Chelsea are almost five times more likely than the national average to become victims of identity fraud”. You can read the full story, ‘Not in my name’, over on the money pages of the Guardian.
As a side note, it is nice to see that the Guardian writes “…Neath in West Glamorgan…” as opposed to ‘…Neath in Wales…’ as the national media often word it.
Are you sick and tired of looking at those same grey walls? Need some Zen in your life? Maybe it’s time to makeover your cubicle! Only one question springs to mind in reading this article: How do I get the company to pay for it?
A lot of people think that learning Welsh is all work and one sided - you learn, they teach. Nothing could be farther from the truth!
Imagine sitting in a classroom and answering a question posed to you by a university lecturer. Why it’s a golden opportunity to challenge their knowledge of pre-school Welsh!
And how about the joys of conversing with native speakers at a speed designed to help them build their concentration skills and stay awake beyond the level of actual human endurance.
But probably the best thing about learning a language is using the wrong word. To date I haven’t done too badly with this, I’ve told someone I was stew after convienently forgetting to include a verb in my sentence. I explained to another person that they looked dangerous whilst attempting to compliment their appearance and advised someone else that I had gone when I really came.
This all changed yesterday, though, when I did the best one yet. What was really awful about this was a) it was someone I greatly admire and b) I didn’t realize it until this morning when I woke up to the horrifying realization of what I had said.
Well, I went down to Ty Tawe yesterday morning for the coffee clutch and to hear the guys play Welsh folk music. One of them was busily tuning an instrument of the same make as one I have. I thought “Oh boy! This is something I can actually talk about. At a reasonable speed. In short sentences. Using the present tense (which I’m really good at)!”
So off I went to chat with him. After a short conversation I turned to go back to my table, advising him that I loved myself, and went off across the room.
Well, of course I meant I loved ‘mine’ and, obviously he knew what I meant. Still……it had to have been funny. And, I absolutely have to give him credit. He didn’t laugh. But it must have been all he could do not to because I am. In fact, I have been laughing about this all morning……
Browsing the 
We’ve all heard about ‘Identity Theft’, we’ve all been warned to keep our information save and be careful who we pass our details on to, many of us will shred our bills prior to binning - but now you can go one step further by moving to Neath!
But a great clip. I love the spoof which is linked to on the same page.
