Everybody Needs A Laugh
This isn’t really typical blog stuff but, like everybody else I get tons of jokes in emails. Some of my favorite are these church bulletin typos. Here are a bunch I hadn’t heard before. So have a read, a good laugh and enjoy your bank holiday. Happy May Day to you!
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
———————————————————-
The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon
tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
——————– —— ——————————–
Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of
those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
———————————————————-
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
———————————————————-
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of ou r community. Smile at
someone who is hard to love.
Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
———————————————————
Don’t let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
———————————————————
Mrs ….. sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure
to the congregation.
———————————————————-
For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a
nursery downstairs.
—- ——————————————————
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the
help they can get.
———————————————————-
The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing:
‘Break Forth Into Joy.’
———————————————————
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
———————————————————
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
———————————————————
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of
several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
———————————————————
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
———————————————————
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you
want remembered.
———————————————————
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment
and gracious hostility.
————————————————-
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow..
———————————————— ———
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
———————————– —— —————–
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across
from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
———————————————————
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would
lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
——————————————–
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use
the back door.
———————————————————
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the
Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend
this tragedy.
———————————————————-
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
———————————————————-
The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign
slogan last Sunday : ‘I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours’.